I have a holiday party tonight with some friends. Since I’m friends with booze bags, they have the drinks covered. I’m bringing what I do best… cupcakes (mini ones at that)!! Whipped out my trusty chocolate/sour cream cupcake recipe and threw in some mint extract and voila! Holiday cheer, decorated with all things Christmas. They are cute as a button and DELICIOUS.
Sitting around watching Sing Off, drinking my milk tea with holiday boba (aka green and red bobas), contemplating today’s happenings. I just got back from my friend’s wake. It’s so surreal. Exactly one week ago, my team did some investigative work. We didn’t find what we were looking for. Our friend and colleague was gone. He wasn’t ignoring calls or leaving emails unopened, or forgetting to tell us he was ok. He was gone.
Work has been more and more hectic, and thus, distracting. Honestly, the whole thing seemed like something from a dream. Nothing made his passing truly real to me. Tonight that feeling came a tumbling down. The minute I pulled up to the funeral parlor, I had a huge knot in my stomach. I walked through the doors and that terrible pungent odor only funeral parlors have invaded my nostrils.
Friends and family waited on a line that seemed to go on for days. Tearful parents waited in front of their only son’s casket, waiting to be consoled by the countless individuals who loved their son dearly. How do you even begin to breathe again? His poor parents.
Kneeling in front of the casket is the hardest part of a wake. It forces you to come to terms with what is really happening around you. All the while, you have someone behind you breathing down your neck to have their chance at a brief farewell. He didn’t look like himself. He looked cold and stern. He wasn’t like that. He was warm, loving, and all smiles all the time. I can’t name a person who he met even for the shortest amount of time that wasn’t affected in a positive way. Everyone loved him. Everyone.
It’s a huge loss. I’m only just grateful that I was able to know someone like him. He was charming and funny and cool. He was the essence of our “family”, one of my managers said. I couldn’t agree more. He was like the big brother I never had and I’m really going to miss him.
I still feel like it’s not completely real to me. He wasn’t in that casket. It was a mere shadow of the jubilant 26 year old I knew. For all I know, I could wake up at any point and this could all be a lie.
Tomorrow is the funeral. I’m putting off sleeping because I feel like the sooner I go to sleep the sooner I’ll be headed toward his small town church to say my final goodbye.
Do you see the shit my guy says to me? He smells like doo doo wee wee ca ca.
And now I have to go. Thanks Allen Wong!
Holy shit. Falconiere’s multi-chain metal epaulettes are fabulous. Old school military flare, my god! I love it.
I cannot wait to get my susie homemaker on this week. I’m planning on making peppermint patty mini cupcakes for a Christmas party I have this weekend. I was debating doing chocolate covered pretzels since they’re so easy and adorable. These were from last year and I loved them. So festive and fabulous!
